Learning to See

All my life I kept thinking
That my problem was merely physical,
Although insurmountable by even our modern means.
I had long resigned myself to an outcast
Banned from the altar, refused from the temple.

It’s easy to learn to embrace self-pity
Like a dear friend
And eventually stop asking
“Why me oh God”?

At times I blamed myself and wondered
What had I done wrong to deserve this?
Or had this been some twisted birthright
Bestowed unwittingly by parents
Too blind to understand the consequences?

You may think it’s a cliche
About seeing the light
But you have never witnessed that first brilliant blast
For the first time being overwhelmed by
Sensations and dimensions only imagined.

I had felt and smelled mud and clay before
I thought I knew all there was about it
What little did I know
Was this the same stuff that existed
Before God breathed life in it?

At first it hurt too much and overwhelmed,
A meaningless noise of strange unnamed sensations
That I could only open my eyes
A little at a time.

For a long time I knew the what,
Although it seemed incredible even to me,
And I could cling to that what like a reed
In a stormy sea,
Being able to discern the blue and green-flecked waves
In addition to their wetness.

Gradually I became aware
That the what was the least of all
And that there were still more eyes to open
Before I could behold the What.